


Forever and always are just lies we tell ourselves [They roll off the tongue to loved ones]

by Buttercup_ghost



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Broken Promises, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Heartache, Heartbreak, Introspection, Self-Destruction, Self-Destructive Behavior, Self-Sacrifice, Survivor Guilt, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 03:57:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8431015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buttercup_ghost/pseuds/Buttercup_ghost
Summary: You can't say you'll be there then die right after (but is replaying the past any better?)





	

**Author's Note:**

> It's 1am and I can't stop thinking about these two help

_Alright Jaune, just like we practiced_

Her voice is so clear, and if you don't look, you could maybe fool yourself into thinking she was still here. 

_Follow these instructions:_

You fight the urge to look at her, knowing if you do the illusion will shatter. But your eyes don't listen to you, glancing at the image of her on the tiny screen. She's not here, and you knew that, yet you can help the surge of sadness.

_shield up._

Your gaze goes from her to your shield, stance widening, shield raising.

_Keep your grip tight_

hand clinching, arm raising around the hilt that was once hers, you wished you held on tighter to her when you still could.  
Maybe if you kept your grip strong enough she'd be more than just dust on the wind.

_Don't forget to keep your front foot forward. Ready?_

You weren't. How could you? She was gone, and you weren't ready to lose her. There was so much you still hadn't said yet. You couldn't even bury her body.

_Go_.

You swing forward. Grief that you could never put to words being spelled out by your blade.  
Your hand was gripping the hilt ( _her_ hilt) painfully, as if it was the one thing from keeping you from drowning.

_Again_

You remember how she slipped through your fingers, a kiss that should have been sweet leaving the bitter taste of  _goodbye_ and _sorry_

_And again._

You could have saved her. She was reaching out, but like always, you said the wrong thing, did the wrong thing.  
_"Do you believe in destiny?"_  
You honestly don't know anymore.  
You don't think you believe in anything.

_Ok! Now, assuming you aren't cheating.. You can take a break._

You closed your eyes breathing heavily. You failed her, you failed her and now she was gone forever, that laugh, her smile, her everything, gone.

_I know this can be frustrating._

You miss her.  
You miss her so much.

_And it can feel like so much effort to progress just a small amount._

You looked towards her– no, not her, just a recording –and you want to cry. You _needed_ her. You wanted her to hold your hand, walk by you as a team member again—But she could never, not anymore.

_But I just want you to know I'm proud of you._

You almost want to believe the words, want to believe that she was proud. But honestly that just hurt even more. You knew she wouldn't blame you— _didn't_ blame you—but that doesn't stop you from blaming yourself.

_I've never met someone so determined to better themselves._

You wish this was real, you want– _need_ –her to be here, to be alive. You don't know if you can do this without her.

_You've grown so much since we started training, and I know this is just the beginning._

You wish things didn't chance so much. Even the most beautiful flowers are faded to wither and die, you know this, but.. To watch as the petals fall of one by one is a thing you can't describe.

_Jaune.... I..._

You walk forward. It feels like a hole has been torn from your chest without her, and vaguely you wonder what she would feel like if you'd been the one who died. Would it feel like her soul had been ripped out and purvelrized? Would she dream of your smile and wake up gasping? Would she feel the need to hear your voice just once more, once more, even if it is only a recording?

_I...._

You wonder what would have happened if you'd just told each other. If instead of hesitating, words trailing off before any confession could be made, you had _just spoken honestly._

_...I.. Want you to know that.. I'm.. just happy to be a part of your life.  
_

You heard how her voice cracked with longing and wondered how you couldn't have heard it earlier. Why where you so oblivious, so dense? Could you really not see? She felt was the same as you, and yet instead of ending with smiles, it only ended in tragedy.

_I'll always be here for you, Jaune._

Liar.

**Author's Note:**

> Why do I constantly make myself sad


End file.
